Nerves, wrong answers and a very distracted interview

I can't stop sweating, I'm digging my nails into my palms, biting my lip, I can feel that my shoulders are stiff and I'm very upright, my breathing's shallow and I keep jiggling my foot around.
No, I'm not waiting for some sort of horrific surgery, nor am I about to give a momentous speech.
The above description, in fact, is my exact feelings before my first ever job interview, approximately an hour and a half ago. I know what you are probably thinking 'oh it's normal to get nervous before interviews', but seeing as I had no prior experience, this goes above and beyond normal nerves. Yes, I reluctantly admit, I was shitting it. And in retrospect, I can see why.
What are you supposed to say?
'What are your hobbies and interests?' Well, do you want the truth? I think my favourite thing to do is find pictures of attractive men and post them on my Tumblr blog. Oh, that doesn't count as a hobby? Oh, he'll think I'm a complete freak if I say that? Okay, how about watching endless episodes of the Hills? Bitching? No? Okay, I'll go with 'err, I do a bit of acting' (epic lie, I haven't acted in almost a year, unless you count lying to wrangle my way out of awkward situations).
'Where do you like to shop?' Again, the truth will get me nowhere. I can't tell if my interviewer will look disgusted or simply alarmed if I proclaim 'VINTAGE!', so I squirm in my seat whilst thinking of a plausible answer. If I go with standard high street haunts, he might think I'm boring. If I'm outlandish and reference Brick Lane or Portobello Road, he might think I'm some wannabe hipster. I settle with 'err... Topshop, H&M, River Island...' Another epic lie, I have neither the money nor the figure for Topshop and hate buying from H&M because the world and her best friend have the exact same things as you.
When my interview finally ceases, I'm left with another mind-blowing dilemma; how to part ways? Do I give a brisk but firm handshake and tell him I hope to hear from him soon? Or tell him it was nice to meet him? Another lie, meeting him has left me in a heightened state of stress and emotional turmoil. Yet again, I blunder, grunting some remark about expecting a phone call and actually stumbling out of the room (I like to think I made an impact).

Alas, I didn't get the job, so my summer will be budgeted until then. I sincerely hope anyone reading can learn from my fatal mistakes. Have your answers prepared in your head, try as hard as you can not to panic and be friendly.
And for your own good, I hope you don't have an attractive interviewer, as I did. It's so distracting.

Shout, shout, let it all out...

So far, as you've most probably realised, the football has been a flop. I'm not going to lie to you - I know pretty much fuck all about the game. The most I could muster up to say about the England vs Algeria match was 'oh... they seem to have the ball a lot more than us', which is hardly the most insightful comment. To be fair, I was standing OUTSIDE the pub and watching the match through the window, after being refused entry for 'not having ID' (oh, the joys of being 17).
Thus, I can't give you a blow-by-blow of the football. The only England players I can name without frantically Googling away are Rooney, Lampard and Ashley Cole. Oh, and some bloke everyone at this delightful pub last Friday kept calling 'Pesky Hesky'. But even if I can't comment on the actual football itself, it would seem stupid to let such a momentous subject like the World Cup slip under my blogging radar. Aside from the sport, I can write about what I know - in this case, music.




This is the official Fifa World Cup anthem. And surprisingly, it's not too bad. It's catchy and feelgood, and has some sort of interesting dance routine to accompany it, which is always nice.



England's attempt at an anthem is somewhat disappointing. To start with, there seems to be a lack of logic between pairing a fat comedian and an appalling 'rap' artist to do some sort of remix of Tears' 1984 ballad. The entire ensamble seems a bit bizarre. The lyrics border on humorous but seem to have been penned in approximately 15 seconds. My favorite line is 'tired of getting a kick, oi!', which appears in the first verse - it does not relate to any lyrics surrounding it, neither does it rhyme with anything, and it doesn't actually make sense. This song all in all is composed of a yob shouting, a fat guy singing a few bars and an awful lot of synthesiser. But let's face it - are England really going to be in the runnings for much longer? Doubtful. So hopefully we won't have to poison our ears with such nonsense for much longer




The USA's attempt from Weezer, is hardly any more impressive. The stadium-rock feel to this song does nothing for Weezer's credit as a band, and the lyrics prove repetitive and boring. Similar to the UK's anthem, Weezer have lashed on the synth and have seemingly forgotten the ingredients to make a decent song. This song makes me sad for the future of rock music, it sounds like Miley Cyrus or something. I think I'm going to just shut my ears and pretend they never recorded this.

Let's remind ourselves what a true football song consists of. In my opinion, England's best ever output was their 1970 number. It would have been interesting to hear our current team's stab at a football song - although I can't fathom Rooney's singing voice as anything pleasant. Until we're knocked out, I'll be humming this little ditty and pretending I know what's going on on the pitch, hopefully this time not stood outside a dingy pub with only a shirt on my head and my boyfriend's jumper for warmth.